The stirrings of my head
Last evening I had a dream about Jennifer. I had not really thought about her in ages, but this one was so fascinating. I actually woke up from it and it was 11 o?clock in the morning. I always get up before that. I had went to bed around midnight, and felt so rested and relaxed when I woke up from the evening that it seemed like 2 days worth of sleep.
The dream was in the present or the very near future. Jennifer and I had been reunited as our usual circumstances allow, a holiday or some other event that brings us within a close proximity of one another. In the dream we were hanging out as we usually do, and then we began making out. This was not sex, just very passionate kissing and hugging. It was so great, better than any sex I could remember. There were few words, but the thoughts in my head were swirling. ?I love this woman, and yet I am gay. I have a career to think about, a gay activist cannot marry a woman, it would discredit everything I have worked very hard for. Why do I love her, moreover why do I STILL love her.? We continued to kiss, and I knew she was the person I wanted to marry and spend the rest of life with.
When I woke up, it seemed so normal, like nothing had been awry. Then slowly the reality of what I had just experiences in my subconscious came fort, and I was happy.
Too happy for a man seeking complete a total liberation for every queer person in the world.